This is a conversation between me and Jenna yesterday. She really asks some tough questions sometimes.
Jenna: Mom, where does God live?
Me: In heaven.
Jenna: What does he do there?
Me: He takes care of people who don't live on earth anymore.
Jenna: You mean like, they're dead?
Me: Yes honey.
a few seconds of pause
Jenna: Does God love zombies too?
Me: Yeah, I think God loves everyone. (thinking, where the heck is she going with this and how does she even know what a Zombie is?)
Jenna: Even if they are being bad like a zombie?
Me: I think God wants us all to be good, but he still forgives and loves people who are bad too.
Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts
Monday, June 4, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Mother's Day 2012
I had a nice Mother's Day! We are so lucky to have a lot of Mothers in our lives, and wish we could have seen them all. I was enjoying too much and didn't get many pictures of the weekend, so here are some from our phones.
I'm so lucky to have two wonderful kids who make me a mother.
 |
| Grant and his "cousin" Miles. Grant loves babies and was excited to "hold it." |
 |
| Sorry this is so blurry, my grandparents and their three great grandchildren (with one more soon to be in picutres in Sept!). The kids are so lucky to know their GG's! |
 |
| Our only family picture we got on Mothers Day weekend, towards the end of the day after we went out for ice cream. |
 |
| The kids with Grandma and Grandpa S. Glad we got a good picture of them all. |
 |
| Grant not paying attention as usual. |
 |
| My gifts from Jenna. A cute poem about "If you give a Mom a muffin" and homemade muffins, along with a handprint and picture poem. I LOVE handmade gifts! |
 |
| Grant's gifts to me. A handprint plant with a cute Mom poem, and a art project to hang. |
 |
| Jenna, Grant, and Miles, all smiling and looking at the camera, it's a miracle! |
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Version 3.0
This is the last post I'll do while in my 20s. Tomorrow (tonight at 2:51am to be precise) I will be 30 years old. It's so cliche, but I really don't know how I can be that "old" already. I don't feel like I thought I'd feel when I'm 30, but here I am, entering a new decade.
I'm lucky and blessed with Erik and the kids, and my family and friends. I'm going to embrace being 30, it's defiantly better than the alternative!
I'm lucky and blessed with Erik and the kids, and my family and friends. I'm going to embrace being 30, it's defiantly better than the alternative!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
A Makeover? Sure, why not!
Don't get too excited! It's not for me personally, although that is also needed, but I'm sure it would be MUCH more expensive that the makeover I'm talking about.
Don't you love my new and improved blog?!
A HUGE thanks to Ashley ! She was great to work with, fast, and well priced!
A HUGE thanks to Ashley ! She was great to work with, fast, and well priced!
Yes, it's about time I got Grant's picture up there, he's only 15 months! What's important now is it's done and I LOVE it!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Lucky!
When I look at this family picture courtesy of MP Photography I think one word...LUCKY! I have a great husband, two beautiful healthy kids, and they make me laugh everyday!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Wow, it's been a while...
Time flies when you're having fun...or at least when you're really busy! I've had a nagging thought in the back of my mind for months now...I MUST update my blog. Not only to keep friends and family in the know of what's going on with the kids, but this also houses my documentation of stories, pictures, changes, and more, of the kids.
Every night we get the kids down, wash bottles, prep for the next morning, and then finally get a breather, which sometimes includes eating dinner at 8:00pm. At 9:00 the thoughts start going through my head, I should work out, I should blog, I should clean, do laundry, pay bills, etc... All I want to do is sit down, relax, and breath for a minute before crashing in bed.
I will do individual kid posts soon, complete with pictures. We are all doing well busy, had a great Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas (yes, it's been that long since I've wrote). I'm getting ready to start grad classes again in January, so add one more thing to the list, and as of right now we're all healthy (knocking on wood.)
Stay tuned...
Every night we get the kids down, wash bottles, prep for the next morning, and then finally get a breather, which sometimes includes eating dinner at 8:00pm. At 9:00 the thoughts start going through my head, I should work out, I should blog, I should clean, do laundry, pay bills, etc... All I want to do is sit down, relax, and breath for a minute before crashing in bed.
I will do individual kid posts soon, complete with pictures. We are all doing well busy, had a great Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas (yes, it's been that long since I've wrote). I'm getting ready to start grad classes again in January, so add one more thing to the list, and as of right now we're all healthy (knocking on wood.)
Stay tuned...
Friday, July 16, 2010
CUTE PICTURES
I'm going to share some proofs from the photo session we just had. I think they are great. I may be biased, but my kids are pretty cute! Now how will I ever decide which ones to order??? Here are a few from the day.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
My Birth Story
I wanted to get this down in writing before I start to forget some of the details and pain!
We went in on Saturday, June 19 at about 8:30 am. We went in for a scheduled induction due to low amniotic fluid. By the time we got all the paperwork and questions answered, and got hooked up to the monitors, got the IV in (My hand and then arm weren't cooperating for that), it was about 10:15 am before they actually started the pitocin. At that point I was about 60% effaced and 1.5-2 centimeters dilated.
It was a slow start, the Dr. didn't want to break my water right away due to the low fluid, we didn't want to cause any stress to the baby. So, from about 10:30 to 3:00 it was fairly slow. Not a ton of change and progress. I was having regular contractions about 2-3 minutes apart but they were fairly easy to get through, just uncomfortable. They kept increasing my pitocin every half an hour.
At 3:30 to doctor came in to break my water, I was about 3-4 cm at this time. I also ended up getting my epidural at this time. I was in pain, and the anesthesiologist was already there for another lady so I didn't want him to have to be called back in. I'm not sure what happened, but the epidural didn't quite work right. We didn't' know this right away at the time though. It did make my whole left leg really numb and not as much my belly or the pain. The pain was still bearable so I didn't let it bother me, but I knew right away it felt different than I felt going through this with Jenna.
The meds in the epidural caused my blood pressure to go really really low. The nurses were worried and they had the cuff checking my blood pressure every 5 minutes. They said if I were to get out of bed I would most likely just pass out. It was low, like 79/39 low. It wasn't getting better despite trying different positions, pumping a TON of fluid into me, and giving me meds to raise it. Luckily the baby was looking great through all of this and didn't react to my body being stressed.
So, eventually my blood pressure started going up and my pain was going up. I called the nurse in and told her I was feeling way more pain than I knew I should be feeling with the epidural. She checked me and I was 6 cm. She said she thought I would go really fast now and since the meds made my blood pressure so low they couldn't do more or change anything, so pretty much, deal with it. I literally had tears running down my face, and I felt like I was never going to get to 10!
The nurse called the doctor and told her it would be soon and started to get my room ready for delivery. The doctor came in and was prepping to deliver the lady in the room next to us. Of course, two of us start going into active labor at the same time. I was in so much pain and felt so bad that it actually made me throw up. I gave Erik just enough notice to throw a pan under my mouth. The nurse was happy saying it was a good sign of transition into pushing.
Meanwhile, Erik was trying to do anything he could to help, which wasn't much. He got me ice chips, chapstick, and letting me break his hand while I held it during contractions. At this point the nurse was right, things were going fast (thank God) and I was at an 8 and the baby was really low. I was crying, couldn't talk, felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. I KNOW I was not supposed to be feeling like this but it was too late to do anything now. It was the point of no return. Erik said it was the first time he heard me say that I couldn't do something. How dumb, I remember saying, "I can't do this." Yeah, like I had a choice!
The nurse came in and said, "You're at a 10, you're complete." She tried to get the doctor in and the doctor was still delivering the other lady's baby. The nurse then said to us, "don't worry, I've delivered babies before." This made me cry even more, our doctor is our friend and I really wanted her to deliver this baby. The nurse said the baby was right there and at that moment the doctor came running in, got ready and told me to push. I was in so much pain and felt like I couldn't do it, and she told me what I needed to hear. She said he was so low and so right there that she thought I could do it in one good push. She was right, I did!!!! Grant came out after one long push. It hurt so bad and the pressure in unbelievable, it's also the weirdest feeling, a baby coming out of you. I didn't feel all that with Jenna due to the epidural, I felt pain with her but NOTHING like this.
I remember Erik and the doctor yelling at me to open my eyes and then Grant was laying on my chest! I was so relieved he was okay and he was out of me! It's the most pain I've ever been in but he was worth it!
After he came out, I'll spare you the details, but we had the same problems that we did with Jenna with my placenta. So, after that ordeal was over, all was good!
I started pitocin at 10:15 am
They broke my water at 3:30 pm (this is when they technically say labor starts)
Grant was born at 10:21 pm.
It truly is an unbelievable experience and looking back at it now, I'm kinda glad I felt the pain, it makes me feel so strong and amazed at what our bodies can do. Okay, now I'm getting all teary eyed. I want to remember this feeling since it's most likely our last baby.
I know forever have the memories and experience of laboring and birthing my two kids. I have the flabby belly and stretch marks to prove it and I couldn't be happier with my family!
We went in on Saturday, June 19 at about 8:30 am. We went in for a scheduled induction due to low amniotic fluid. By the time we got all the paperwork and questions answered, and got hooked up to the monitors, got the IV in (My hand and then arm weren't cooperating for that), it was about 10:15 am before they actually started the pitocin. At that point I was about 60% effaced and 1.5-2 centimeters dilated.
It was a slow start, the Dr. didn't want to break my water right away due to the low fluid, we didn't want to cause any stress to the baby. So, from about 10:30 to 3:00 it was fairly slow. Not a ton of change and progress. I was having regular contractions about 2-3 minutes apart but they were fairly easy to get through, just uncomfortable. They kept increasing my pitocin every half an hour.
At 3:30 to doctor came in to break my water, I was about 3-4 cm at this time. I also ended up getting my epidural at this time. I was in pain, and the anesthesiologist was already there for another lady so I didn't want him to have to be called back in. I'm not sure what happened, but the epidural didn't quite work right. We didn't' know this right away at the time though. It did make my whole left leg really numb and not as much my belly or the pain. The pain was still bearable so I didn't let it bother me, but I knew right away it felt different than I felt going through this with Jenna.
The meds in the epidural caused my blood pressure to go really really low. The nurses were worried and they had the cuff checking my blood pressure every 5 minutes. They said if I were to get out of bed I would most likely just pass out. It was low, like 79/39 low. It wasn't getting better despite trying different positions, pumping a TON of fluid into me, and giving me meds to raise it. Luckily the baby was looking great through all of this and didn't react to my body being stressed.
So, eventually my blood pressure started going up and my pain was going up. I called the nurse in and told her I was feeling way more pain than I knew I should be feeling with the epidural. She checked me and I was 6 cm. She said she thought I would go really fast now and since the meds made my blood pressure so low they couldn't do more or change anything, so pretty much, deal with it. I literally had tears running down my face, and I felt like I was never going to get to 10!
The nurse called the doctor and told her it would be soon and started to get my room ready for delivery. The doctor came in and was prepping to deliver the lady in the room next to us. Of course, two of us start going into active labor at the same time. I was in so much pain and felt so bad that it actually made me throw up. I gave Erik just enough notice to throw a pan under my mouth. The nurse was happy saying it was a good sign of transition into pushing.
Meanwhile, Erik was trying to do anything he could to help, which wasn't much. He got me ice chips, chapstick, and letting me break his hand while I held it during contractions. At this point the nurse was right, things were going fast (thank God) and I was at an 8 and the baby was really low. I was crying, couldn't talk, felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. I KNOW I was not supposed to be feeling like this but it was too late to do anything now. It was the point of no return. Erik said it was the first time he heard me say that I couldn't do something. How dumb, I remember saying, "I can't do this." Yeah, like I had a choice!
The nurse came in and said, "You're at a 10, you're complete." She tried to get the doctor in and the doctor was still delivering the other lady's baby. The nurse then said to us, "don't worry, I've delivered babies before." This made me cry even more, our doctor is our friend and I really wanted her to deliver this baby. The nurse said the baby was right there and at that moment the doctor came running in, got ready and told me to push. I was in so much pain and felt like I couldn't do it, and she told me what I needed to hear. She said he was so low and so right there that she thought I could do it in one good push. She was right, I did!!!! Grant came out after one long push. It hurt so bad and the pressure in unbelievable, it's also the weirdest feeling, a baby coming out of you. I didn't feel all that with Jenna due to the epidural, I felt pain with her but NOTHING like this.
I remember Erik and the doctor yelling at me to open my eyes and then Grant was laying on my chest! I was so relieved he was okay and he was out of me! It's the most pain I've ever been in but he was worth it!
After he came out, I'll spare you the details, but we had the same problems that we did with Jenna with my placenta. So, after that ordeal was over, all was good!
I started pitocin at 10:15 am
They broke my water at 3:30 pm (this is when they technically say labor starts)
Grant was born at 10:21 pm.
It truly is an unbelievable experience and looking back at it now, I'm kinda glad I felt the pain, it makes me feel so strong and amazed at what our bodies can do. Okay, now I'm getting all teary eyed. I want to remember this feeling since it's most likely our last baby.
I know forever have the memories and experience of laboring and birthing my two kids. I have the flabby belly and stretch marks to prove it and I couldn't be happier with my family!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
My Big Belly
Okay, some of you have asked for a belly shot! I'm reluctantly sharing this with you. I am 33 weeks today, so really he could be here anywhere from 3-7 weeks now! It's not too much longer! I forgot to take a picture at home this morning, so this is in the bathroom at work. Thank God no one walked in!
33 weeks exactly
33 weeks exactly
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The Good, the bad, and the ugly!
With my due date fast approcahing, only 63 days away, I thought I'd do a pregnancy post. Please understand that I'm so grateful to be pregnant, after one year of trying and a miscarriage, but it doesn't mean things are easy.
This pregnancy is SO different than my one with Jenna. I am trying to enjoy it, and am fully aware this could be my last pregnancy, but sometimes it's so hard.
The Good
In 63 days or less I will be holding my little baby boy!
In 63 days or less I will be holding my little baby boy!
I can't wait to see Jenna be a big sister, I know she will do great (or at least I hope!)
I don't have to suck in my stomach while pregnant
Feeling life inside of me! Even though sometimes he hurts me, I love feeling him move all around
Erik and I are so excited to add to our family!
Having a valid reason to get regular pedicures, I can't reach my toes and Erik doesn't want to paint them...so, salon - here I come!
The Bad
Um...aching and hurting hips and pelvic bones, seriously, I can feel them spreading and moving!
Heartburn and reflux so bad it leaves me throwing up at night.
Rolling out of bed and trying to get off the couch like I'm a hippo, nothing is easy.
Colds and headaches and not being able to take anything stronger than a sweetart (tylenol does nothing for me.)
Back aches
Bending over literally takes my breath away, I can hardly put on socks or shoes
This symptom doesn't bother me, but I snore at night now and keep Erik awake. (Hey - it that's the sacrifice he has to make while I'm making a person, he can deal with it!)
Awful morning (yeah right, I wish) sickness my first three months.
Getting up 3-6 times a night to go to the bathroom, seriously, how is it possible to really have to pee every 15 minutes?
The Ugly
Swollen ankles and fingers
Leaking boobs - love it!
Stretch marks - need I say more?
Friday, February 26, 2010
21 week 3d Ultrasound
We had a 3D ultrasound today, mostly for my worried mind to get one more confirmation that he is indeed a he. We got that, it's a boy and I won't second guess it again!
Here are a few pictures. They would have been even better if we'd waited a few more weeks, but I'm not the patient type and am planning on buying bedding this weekend, so needed to know.
Another profile
Cute profile, showing off his flexibility, see his foot up by his chin?!
Here are a few pictures. They would have been even better if we'd waited a few more weeks, but I'm not the patient type and am planning on buying bedding this weekend, so needed to know.
Baby all curled up, you can see his nose good and some arms and legs tangled in there too.
Cute profile, he almost looks like he has a little smirk!
Cute profile, he almost looks like he has a little smirk!
Another profile
Cute profile, showing off his flexibility, see his foot up by his chin?!
He got sick of showing off his goods, and crossed his legs!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
And it starts...
I am truly amazed at what people have the nerve to say, especially to a pregnant lady. Do people really have no tact or thoughtfulness?
When I was pregnant with Jenna I got to the point where every time someone tried to offer or tell me advice on what I should or shouldn't do, or eat or anything, I would respond back with, "Oh, wow, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were an OB doctor!!" It shut them up every time.
Looks like it's starting again. So far, I've had two insensitive rude comments made to me, I'm only halfway there.
Last week a lady asked me if my pregnancy was planned or a surprise. Seriously - do you have a right to know that or even really want to know the answer? What if I had said,
"Oh, total surprise, I hate babies and can't believe I'm pregnant!" What would she have said?
Or does she want the other story,
"Planned, we tried for a year, had a miscarriage, went to the doctor, had multiple tests done, was charting, temping, planning, and scheduled an appointment with an RE before we found out we were pregnant."
Honestly people, think before you speak. Just say, "Congratulations, that's so wonderful!" And be done!
My next rude conversation was just last night. An older couple asked me when I was due, I'm just starting to show more, here is the conversation.
Them: So, how much longer do you have?
Me: A while, due date is very beginning of July.
Them: Oh wow, you must be like me honey, have you gained a lot of weight?
Me: (trying not to hit them) No, actually I've only gained one pound and I'm halfway done. Everything is on track and we are having a boy. (me trying to change the subject.)
Them: Well, yes, a BIG boy!!!
Honestly...I don't know how much more of this I can take! What should my comeback be this time???
When I was pregnant with Jenna I got to the point where every time someone tried to offer or tell me advice on what I should or shouldn't do, or eat or anything, I would respond back with, "Oh, wow, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were an OB doctor!!" It shut them up every time.
Looks like it's starting again. So far, I've had two insensitive rude comments made to me, I'm only halfway there.
Last week a lady asked me if my pregnancy was planned or a surprise. Seriously - do you have a right to know that or even really want to know the answer? What if I had said,
"Oh, total surprise, I hate babies and can't believe I'm pregnant!" What would she have said?
Or does she want the other story,
"Planned, we tried for a year, had a miscarriage, went to the doctor, had multiple tests done, was charting, temping, planning, and scheduled an appointment with an RE before we found out we were pregnant."
Honestly people, think before you speak. Just say, "Congratulations, that's so wonderful!" And be done!
My next rude conversation was just last night. An older couple asked me when I was due, I'm just starting to show more, here is the conversation.
Them: So, how much longer do you have?
Me: A while, due date is very beginning of July.
Them: Oh wow, you must be like me honey, have you gained a lot of weight?
Me: (trying not to hit them) No, actually I've only gained one pound and I'm halfway done. Everything is on track and we are having a boy. (me trying to change the subject.)
Them: Well, yes, a BIG boy!!!
Honestly...I don't know how much more of this I can take! What should my comeback be this time???
Friday, January 29, 2010
It's a....
We went for an ultrasound, the little baby was moving all around and the tech's couldn't get a very good shot of the "goods", but they both saw something, and thought the same thing. So, we are having a...
BOY!!!!!
We're so excited and so is Jenna! I'm already looking and planning and dreaming about the colors for the nursery and bedding!
BOY!!!!!
We're so excited and so is Jenna! I'm already looking and planning and dreaming about the colors for the nursery and bedding!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Bad Day
Picture this...the song "I've had a bad day" playing, me feeling like crap, having a bad day at work, wanting to cry...
This picture pretty much sums up how I feel! Who else is having one of those days?!
This picture pretty much sums up how I feel! Who else is having one of those days?!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
BIG NEWS!!!
We are so happy to announce that Jenna is going to be a BIG SISTER! After one year of trying to conceive and going through a miscarriage, we are expecting! We are 13 weeks along, due July 6, 2010!!!
We are just so happy! We've been lucky enough to have five ultrasounds so far and everything is looking great! It's such a miracle to see the little baby moving all around and hearing the heartbeat!
Jenna is excited, but has no concept of time. We actually just told her last week and she said, "Oh great,...can I have some more spaghetio's?"
She is so cute and will talk to my belly, and if she hits my belly or her feet hit it, she will say she's sorry to the baby. I think she will be a great sister!
We will be finding out if it's a boy or girl and I will keep posting updates!
We are just so happy! We've been lucky enough to have five ultrasounds so far and everything is looking great! It's such a miracle to see the little baby moving all around and hearing the heartbeat!
Jenna is excited, but has no concept of time. We actually just told her last week and she said, "Oh great,...can I have some more spaghetio's?"
She is so cute and will talk to my belly, and if she hits my belly or her feet hit it, she will say she's sorry to the baby. I think she will be a great sister!
We will be finding out if it's a boy or girl and I will keep posting updates!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Trick-or-Treat!
Jenna had so much fun trick-or-treating! She kept saying, "I just LOVE Halloween!" "I just LOVE trick-or-treating!" She was polite with thank you's for everyone too!
Jenna and her best buddy at daycare! How cute is that?!
Jenna and me before the parade at daycare. She wanted to leave her Halloween pants and socks on!
A "Beautiful Princess" is what Jenna wanted to be for Halloween!
Erik and I went to a Halloween Party! We were Pirates! ARGH!!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Happy 5 year Anniversary Hubby!
On October 23, Erik and I celebrated five years of marriage! The old cliche stands true, time flies! On our actual anniversary this year we were flying home from a much needed vacation, just the two of us! We went to Marco Island, which is where we honeymooned! We LOVE that place.
I feel so lucky to have Erik in my life, he is a great husband and dad! Here are some pictures from our wedding day. Man - these are depressing....I was so tiny!!!! Maybe this will be motivation to get there again!
I LOVE this picture!
We had an AWESOME martini bar made of ice! It was a HIT!!!
A Fall wedding, we had great decorations!
I LOVE you Honey! Happy 5 years, and many, many, many more!!!
I feel so lucky to have Erik in my life, he is a great husband and dad! Here are some pictures from our wedding day. Man - these are depressing....I was so tiny!!!! Maybe this will be motivation to get there again!
I LOVE this picture!
We had an AWESOME martini bar made of ice! It was a HIT!!!
A Fall wedding, we had great decorations!
I LOVE you Honey! Happy 5 years, and many, many, many more!!!
Dear Blog...
Dear Blog,
I know I have been neglecting you lately! How dare life get in the way of my online journal!
Soon to follow this post, are the posts I owe you, such as Jenna's 34 month letter, a recap of my vacation with my husband for our 5 year anniversary, some odds and ends, and of course some pics to go with it all!
See you soon!
I know I have been neglecting you lately! How dare life get in the way of my online journal!
Soon to follow this post, are the posts I owe you, such as Jenna's 34 month letter, a recap of my vacation with my husband for our 5 year anniversary, some odds and ends, and of course some pics to go with it all!
See you soon!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The cold hard truth
As a parent, one of the things you want most is to always be able to protect your child. I find myself telling Jenna a lot, "It will be okay, Mommy's here." "I'll save you!" "Don't worry, I'll protect you."
As much as I'd like to believe this is true, it's just not possible to ALWAYS be there, and we learn that with their first fall, scrape, bruise, etc. It's the COLD. HARD. TRUTH. I joke about it, but she really can't live in a bubble.
Of course, we went through this a couple of weeks ago when Jenna fell at school and had to have surgery to remove her tooth. I wasn't there to protect her.
Most recently, our smoke detectors went off at 2am! I ran right away to get Jenna, she was crying, screaming, and shaking, she was so scared. I felt so bad, I wanted to cry for her. When I got her calmed down and my heart rate returned to normal, I felt bad that she was so scared. It was just a false alarm (battery) and everything was okay, but she's been talking about it for the last two days, so I know it really scared her.
So, I've come to the conclusion that although I won't be able to always save and protect her, I WILL ALWAYS be there to comfort her. Through the years she will have more injuries, and physical and emotional pain. It's part of life and I know she will (hopefully) learn from these situations and I won't always be able to stop them from happening or protect her.
Jenna - I promise I WILL always be there to comfort you and be there for you, to try to remind you how much you are loved and how truly special and great you are!
As much as I'd like to believe this is true, it's just not possible to ALWAYS be there, and we learn that with their first fall, scrape, bruise, etc. It's the COLD. HARD. TRUTH. I joke about it, but she really can't live in a bubble.
Of course, we went through this a couple of weeks ago when Jenna fell at school and had to have surgery to remove her tooth. I wasn't there to protect her.
Most recently, our smoke detectors went off at 2am! I ran right away to get Jenna, she was crying, screaming, and shaking, she was so scared. I felt so bad, I wanted to cry for her. When I got her calmed down and my heart rate returned to normal, I felt bad that she was so scared. It was just a false alarm (battery) and everything was okay, but she's been talking about it for the last two days, so I know it really scared her.
So, I've come to the conclusion that although I won't be able to always save and protect her, I WILL ALWAYS be there to comfort her. Through the years she will have more injuries, and physical and emotional pain. It's part of life and I know she will (hopefully) learn from these situations and I won't always be able to stop them from happening or protect her.
Jenna - I promise I WILL always be there to comfort you and be there for you, to try to remind you how much you are loved and how truly special and great you are!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Sad
I'm not sure why I feel the need to share this with the Internet, but in a way writing about it is cathartic for me.
It's been a rough, sad couple of weeks for us! Last week we went through a miscarriage. It was and still is sad for me, although at this point right now I am mad. I hate how common they are, I hate that three of my best friends went through this too, and I hate it happened to me. I feel sad and empty.
We want a little brother or sister for Jenna so bad, and I know one day we will be pregnant again and have that, but right now it's hard. We've gone through so many emotions from excitement, to worry, to being anxious, to being sad, and now we are trying to be hopeful.
If there is any positive out of this, it's been a great reminder on how lucky we are to have the friends and family that we have. Everyone has been so supportive and have been there for us. There isn't anything anyone can say or do to make it better, but just the fact that people call to say sorry and just say they are thinking of us is nice.
I'm bitter right now, I know that's not in my normal personality traits, but it's the truth right now. I get asked every day
"When are you gonna have another?"
"It's time for Jenna to have a sister or brother!"
"The clocks ticking...don't you want them close together?"
"When is number two coming along?"
These comments didn't used to bother me, in fact, I'm sure at some point in my life I've said them to someone else (sorry!).
I just want to scream to them,
"We've been trying for nine months!!! We finally got pregnant and then had a miscarriage! So shut up!"
At which point, they would think I was a crazy hormonal lady and probably try to have me committed.
Anyway, I'm sorry for anyone who went through this or is going through it now. Infertility and losses are not fair and there is no way to explain why it happens.
We are looking forward to moving on and I'm very happy to be feeling physically better as well.
It's been a rough, sad couple of weeks for us! Last week we went through a miscarriage. It was and still is sad for me, although at this point right now I am mad. I hate how common they are, I hate that three of my best friends went through this too, and I hate it happened to me. I feel sad and empty.
We want a little brother or sister for Jenna so bad, and I know one day we will be pregnant again and have that, but right now it's hard. We've gone through so many emotions from excitement, to worry, to being anxious, to being sad, and now we are trying to be hopeful.
If there is any positive out of this, it's been a great reminder on how lucky we are to have the friends and family that we have. Everyone has been so supportive and have been there for us. There isn't anything anyone can say or do to make it better, but just the fact that people call to say sorry and just say they are thinking of us is nice.
I'm bitter right now, I know that's not in my normal personality traits, but it's the truth right now. I get asked every day
"When are you gonna have another?"
"It's time for Jenna to have a sister or brother!"
"The clocks ticking...don't you want them close together?"
"When is number two coming along?"
These comments didn't used to bother me, in fact, I'm sure at some point in my life I've said them to someone else (sorry!).
I just want to scream to them,
"We've been trying for nine months!!! We finally got pregnant and then had a miscarriage! So shut up!"
At which point, they would think I was a crazy hormonal lady and probably try to have me committed.
Anyway, I'm sorry for anyone who went through this or is going through it now. Infertility and losses are not fair and there is no way to explain why it happens.
We are looking forward to moving on and I'm very happy to be feeling physically better as well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)