Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sad

I'm not sure why I feel the need to share this with the Internet, but in a way writing about it is cathartic for me.

It's been a rough, sad couple of weeks for us! Last week we went through a miscarriage. It was and still is sad for me, although at this point right now I am mad. I hate how common they are, I hate that three of my best friends went through this too, and I hate it happened to me. I feel sad and empty.


We want a little brother or sister for Jenna so bad, and I know one day we will be pregnant again and have that, but right now it's hard. We've gone through so many emotions from excitement, to worry, to being anxious, to being sad, and now we are trying to be hopeful.

If there is any positive out of this, it's been a great reminder on how lucky we are to have the friends and family that we have. Everyone has been so supportive and have been there for us. There isn't anything anyone can say or do to make it better, but just the fact that people call to say sorry and just say they are thinking of us is nice.

I'm bitter right now, I know that's not in my normal personality traits, but it's the truth right now. I get asked every day

"When are you gonna have another?"

"It's time for Jenna to have a sister or brother!"

"The clocks ticking...don't you want them close together?"

"When is number two coming along?"

These comments didn't used to bother me, in fact, I'm sure at some point in my life I've said them to someone else (sorry!).

I just want to scream to them,
"We've been trying for nine months!!! We finally got pregnant and then had a miscarriage! So shut up!"

At which point, they would think I was a crazy hormonal lady and probably try to have me committed.

Anyway, I'm sorry for anyone who went through this or is going through it now. Infertility and losses are not fair and there is no way to explain why it happens.

We are looking forward to moving on and I'm very happy to be feeling physically better as well.

10 comments:

Amy said...

I was sadden to read this. I just had a friend go through this around Dec. She is now on her way to another baby that is due next Dec. Then another friend just lost a baby and it was hard. I wish and hope all goes well for you. I am hear if you need anything...

Lauren Kelly said...

I am soooo extremely to hear about this! Praying and thinking about you!

That Girl said...

I sooo know your feelings. This sounds like our June. It's like you wait so long for that positive but it isnt long before the disappointment follows. I still think its incredibly cruel and cant make sense of it.

huge hugs!!

Cheryl said...

I am so sorry. It's never easy. I will pray for you and your family.

Cheryl
(I found your blog through Jen's)

Dot said...

I am so sorry Jodi for your loss. Hoping and praying for you & your family.

Jen said...

Ugh!!! This too makes me sad! I am so sorry for your loss. I've never been in your shoes but I do understand the longing for a child and not being able to have one. I also understand your frustrations with people asking those questions!! I get them all the time!!

Please know I am praying for you!! HUGS

Jen

Beth said...

I am so sorry you're going through this. I cannot imagine. Thoughts and prayers!

Jen said...

Jodi~

I am so so sorry you are having to go through this. It is just awful and you are right...it's not a fair how often miscarriages happen, especially for people who want to have a baby more than anything.

There are so many emotions after having and going through a miscarriage. Please know that I'm here for you if you need anything. Maybe when I get home we can go to lunch and 'talk' if you would like.

Please know that I'm thinking about you during this difficult time.

Thank you so much for being a guest on my blog. Your post was great and it really meant a lot to me.

It has been wonderful getting to know you and I can't wait for our friendship to continue even more.

Whitney said...

Oh Jodi, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I have no idea what you are going through, so all I can say is how deeply sorry I am that you have to struggle with this.

The Rambler said...

Oh Jodi...I'm so sorry. Many hugs for you in my thoughts.

xoxo